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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

sian....lots of things to do and so little time...the class bbq is like we dun even noe who coming?i just realised the importance of how i lack the support of some ppl in our class...when i read tsz hin blog i felt like crying...the warmth was there and i could feel the love of the classmates when will i ever get that? I noe this is nt entirely everyone fault but i still really felt very emo...
did nt come volleyball training today as had to go for maths olympiad competition the ques were rather ok with the exception of a few i never learnt before such as i gt to this ans I3I must be one of the two lessons i missed they teach one lar...sian but no pythogorus theorum leh can't believe it coz like the past few years they keep asking then now..
sorry ppl might have gone a tad too emo and i forgot to thansk kang ning for her wonderful buns on the bus trip:D thanks so much... that will be all quite a short post...

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Monday, May 26, 2008

1 day back from camp yea...woke up and went O.o as the surroundings all seemed so unfamiliar guess i miss the camp too much such that i was expecting myself to wake up inside a tent...shall just make a long post abt it after being pestered by gloria to do so...0.0
Before the camp You see these socks? WTF..so high....but no choice lar no more socks liao already i kiasu brought 6 pairs amd still nt enough...

YAY!!! A BANANA! realised that i ate it moments before i went to tsz hin blog... and saw his uneaten banana at least i won him in something:D



Yaa all the things that i had PLANNED to bring, planned only lar you can see so much medicine...the sweets i intended to bring but didn't too lazy...



my camp bag in the end it became 2 dunno why...
got back my report book and seriously it was nt gd at all...my average dropped so much felt super emo and just went home with tsz hin and jian ming...



Day 1



arrived at school and met with the rest of the group...thought i would be late but surprised to see tsz hin later than me...got into my grp and gt rather emo for a while coz no one to talk to as mervyn went in front and i was like so lonely...



so i decided to look at you and was surprised to see that you were lonely as i thought you wouldn't be really surprising huh?



After that got introduced to melvin chong at first impression i was like thinking...could this be zhi han?? i was uber glad that he was not and that he has the same character as me...haha i never knew it before...he is like saying jokes out of the blue and made me really admire him and wonder could this be the future me? I have thought abt that a lot of times and seen many ppl my future could go so many directions but which way would it really go??



On the bus sat with mervyn and we were like talking sometimes until after we crossed the singapore checkpoint when we gt introduced to someone called daniel looks to me like the jovial who jokes lame things and little did i know that i would be correct...Slept throughout the second bus and felt rather sian after waking up the earliest but the back row was the worst i think they didn't even bat an eyelid to sleep



when we reached the campsite we had lunch and it was rather fine if nt for the fact that there were a lot of houseflies and i did nt dare to take a second helping for all the meals even though i finished one of the fastest...



then we did some team building games after checking into our tents played games like jacob's ladder and name calling had a huge break before playing the real watch after that was dinner and then night walk...started to get emo during night walk after being with mervyn before it was our turn decided to try heeding his advice after having a talk with him found out more abt him and realised he is not exactly what i had anticpitated...he is so mature and gives some really good advice...



after the nightwalk we started to make sparks using stones and surprisingly i could make with the first two walks i found but after that i could nt liao...went back to bathe gt a debrief and slept


i saw your eyes and my eyes cross and we stared at each other for a long time i guess you also must have realised it..why are we so secret? i just dun get it...



2nd day



woke up quite early from papa polar puffs incessant pestering i was inside asemi conscious state when i saw his fat short and bobbly self(haha jk no offense lar) after that did epsiling(is that how it is spelled)





before that we thought we were supposed to go trekking before daniel told us last min change...didn;t regret it the whole day was fun fun and more fun...the water activities were rather cool as we demonstrated team spirit and showed the kind of determination and support for our teammates...





the river cascading was cooling the jetty jump was noble and fun and the indiana jones was the only thing that really existed in my mind as something where we all worked hard together... lunch and dinner was basically boring with the usual house flies and lack of food but at least we had ice-cream haha


at night we went to the river cruise it was rather fun and exciting as the uncle went an extra mile just to show us more fireflies...really appreciated the beauty of mother nature and learnt more abt the fireflies...really want to go back there one day with my family...



later at night we had our debrief again and it was more of morl lesson story abt how a man lost his keys and how he couldn't find it in the streets because he had left it at home... i really love daniel stories although sometimes his jokes might be lame but those moral stories are really good, no joking...he is one who is rather serious and yet lame at times... after that we packed our tents and went to sleep...i felt our eyes cross again and i could see you at the canteen butwhen i looked back i felt a brief moment of you looking at me...maybe it was just my own wishful thinking...

3rd day

spent the whole morning climbing up the mountainand cooking noodles somehow my solid fuel gt stuck on my mass tin such that it was too late to take it out as it was already burning...the good news is that if i were to shit i could be assure that it would most definitely nt come from there...the most well cooked food ever...but sadly halfway up we had to climb back down as there was lightning...i still cannot believe i carried a whole jerrycan up the mountain to the 1st checkpoint...and now my neck is still hurting from it...ouch...the only funny part was daniel repeated farting up the mountain could hear it from so far away...then he still wan us keep it secret... he say scared the teacher later malu and blah blah blah...:D

then coz we were the fastest to eat finish we rushed down the mountain and gt icecream...i like the toffee one it is very chocolatey.... and rather delicious...we bathed the first and then prepared for our campfire and my first task was to find a pe t-shirt borrowed from justin and i was supposed to strip...gt suanned by kenneth like crazy....he kept claiming abt my body... we realised tat sueanne could nt go to the campfire and we were determined to do our best for her the skit had to be changed and a lot of changes happened... our "fly" yueying was the star performer...haha...



luckily justin shirt was too small and tight so i dunnid to strip...yay...after that had our last debrief everyone was super emo...in our tent no one said much as we tucked into our tent...he was super emo and i sawthe other side of him for the first of him for the first time...i had been classmates with him for so long and i did nt see the other side of him...until now...










Better Man (themusiclover.com) - Robbie Williams











My Love By Westlife -



Day 4




woke up and started to get emo liao...felt really bad as i saw all my camp mates still sleeping...so went back to sleep when i woke up again i saw most of them except yu jie still sleeping...we seemed to cheer up from ytd incident and everyone was nt crying already...ying jie kept suanning me...and later she told me she argued with yue ying? O.o she said first time and she can't imagine herself doing it again...





after breakfast we packed up the tents it was rather easy as 1 group only had to do two tents felt rather glad as i saw bravo cleaning the toilets and i felt eww... later we rushed to the resort and took lots of pics as we were the first grp to camp there...daniel then lied to us that we did nt get first and we did nt mind much coz we know that in our hearts we gt the best grp,,,but when we gt the medals i could see that we were all very shocked...





on the bus all of us were super emo as this was the last time we would be able to see our instrctors sadly melvin had to leave the first bus as it was too crowded really missed seeing the both of them together for the last time...sat with grp 12 and realised finally why was it our grp gt best grp award and nt the others





i also realised that our grp should nt be the one getting if they were to count some other occasions abt wat we did... there will forever be a diff in the lives of ppl no matter how bonded they can be i vividly heard some some were more concerned abt some of us but still good job to everyone for trying their best.... i still believe we were undoubtly the best group considering the factors they took in and we rally bonded together throughout the activities:D





haix then on the way back missed one last whoosh coz i went to call my parents...





i saw you emo at the canteen and in my mind i was feeling like going to talk to you...i really wan to hav a companion in my life someone who can accompany me thru thick and thin but is tat evrn possible?





Today supposedly went to collect my hp but was told that the guy took day off or wateva crap and my phone could only be got back tmr...sian lar...this post is the longest i shall make and it is done at 4 diff computers...pro rite? and using two diff networks one at mac and the other at home...:D

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Sunday, May 18, 2008

sian...posting again coz i feel that my feelings are too bottled up gotta release it some time...i sometimes feel that why can't i live life happily? I see more and more peopel getting emo and in my mind i am thinking...why is it that we can't just take life positively? Has it got anything to do with our emotions? At least u have someone to rely on when u ppl fall down...I have nobody when i am
falling...
falling...
and falling again...
is life meant to be that way for me? Or am i really destined to be like tat?
for the first time in my blogging post, i am stuck...and i mean very stuck...all my life i have always aimed to be one of the best and this year i am suddenly going to be the worst without realising it...
Fri training was ok...the b boys for the first time did nt reallylook down on me... I felt a rush of gratitude rushing thru me but all this was to be gone when it was playing match time... none of use felt like going but i could see chen rui face when he left he specifically told us to come and we just didn't go without even telling him...is this called repaying of gratitude? I felt so guilty... and the worst of all...regret...this could be their final straw where i have disappointed them...sorry to the 3 otehr sec 2s i bear no offence and respect yr decision and u are free to do watevr u all like and i can only obey as i am a junior...
i was just chatting with someone last night and we somehow chatted until we reach this definition:What is love? we found out that many diff ppl ha diff perspectives and tat is why there are so many upsets in this world...i also told tat person something and i hope that it is nt shocking and tat may be jus tthe way i am, k?
i feel that i have changed in my thoughts of perspective... i have suddenly find myself in a funny world...one where i never take centre stage but instead become the bystanders where i get to find out a lot of things...and jx or kev if u see this post, can pls call me? thanks...
i feel like telling you how i feel about you but i still lack the courage and we just turned out to have no fate...maybe i should really just follow tsz hin...we seem to be stuck on the same road except his is really kept known but mine is not...i try to be like darry but i just can't but i also can't be johnny...so which character in the outsiders is really the best???

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

I just realised that i forgot to thank some ppl for giving me birthday presents

Thanks to:

Amanda for your magnet and card

Gloria and Tsz Hin for their voodoo dolls and a card

Sueanne for your chocolate biscuits

Puyin for your keychain
Old Uncle Henry for his wonderful memory card
Cheng Xiu for a pencil? O.o
And Jun xiang, lena, iylia, shirlyn, kar wai, soravee, julia and juliet, jia wei and dunno wh oelse lar for wishing me a happy birthday...
Exam only has one word to describe it:bad... I basically scored lower than my expectations for every single subject except science which i scored only rather badly for bio...and u just had to look don't you? I want you to look at my best paper, not my worst...you know how ifelt when i saw u staring? My heart was racing...my wish now is just to hope that i get praised in front of you so that u can be proud of me...
Personal reflections(so guai)O.o
My Lit did badly for unseen prose...and u had to giv out tat section...
My Hist did badly also in the first ques where i could hav scored 10 i scored only a meagre 2 bcoz i label wrong ques
My Chi did badly bcoz of one stupid paragraph which caused me to li ti and run away...
My Eng did badly bcoz i explained it in a wrong way...
My Maths did badly bcoz my careless mistakes could make 1 common test paper already
My Sci did badly bcoz i just suck in open-ended so gotta jy for that
My Geog did badly bcoz i noe why which i cannot say here....
So tada... i screwed up every single sub, just to sum it all, i am plain stupid so must study more...
I dun wanna lose u...but after wat sueanne told me, i still keep to my beliefts that i can get u thru results...but have u ever considered? When was the last time u chatted with me? I feel so lonely...
Today had art thing and it was freaking tough to draw and my drawing is worse than the singapore flyer jumping out into the singapore river to pass would be as good as to let england win euro 2012...
Tag replies
Puyin: Lol, i found it in my hp b4 it spoilt and sent it to my com lor
Hx:Lol, you girl guide leh...sure can hel p in the camp one...and let us bully konnie...muahaha
Jiawei: Hi, thanks a lot:D
S0yabean: O.o i did giv u a tag liao lor, your blog be careful of tables and **********...seriously...

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Monday, May 12, 2008

muahaha last day to celebrate b4 i get super emo...i seriously think i will cry coz this is the first time i studied so hard yet i felt so bad abt it? Last year mye cannot be bothered abt it eoy scored reasonably well coz i worked so hard to pull up my average in the end won justin by 0.2 marks...so funny.... but this time i got a super bad feeling about it.... to think that i used to score well without studying in pri school but sec school is a totally different case... anyway found some pics or amybe well a pic u all might like

Wat the hell is zhi han's eye being so closey about?
I feel bad now... if zhi han 's mum was to ever come here i seriosuly apologise but i get to claim copyright issues and blah blah blah...
ok, back to my exam results...will i be emo tmr? i think definitely so... for wed it will be much much worse....i have disappointed teachers' faith in me and i feel myself feeling guilty... not extremely bcoz i noe i did study well...maybe it is time to follwo wat the mrs yang once said that i have to change my study method as i don't look like those kind of ppl who can definitely study like o.o...i don't wan to disappoint especially you i used u to make me study but i still gt that extremely bad feeling and the worst of all, pressure...i feel terribly guilty when i saw u with your hair today, i felt like saying you are beautiful but i couldn't bring myself to do it..i was just stunned and feeling extremely bad abt myself...i have the courage to do so many things but just that one crucial thing is something i cannot bring myself to...i really like your new hair now... and in my eyes,you are still beautiful....do you even see my blog and give me a tag? I yearn for a tag but i doubt i will ever get it from you...
O.o...i was freaking pro a perfect way to train from 2.4 after i alighted from my bus at the first stop, i saw my second bus in front, so i ran after it...i chased after the first bus and stopeed in front of the bus driver but apparently he bo chap me and drove off...so i ran to the second stop....but i was too slow so the bus had already went past me just before i reached the second stop... i saw the bus making for the third stop and i ran like crazy...then i managed to reach my third bus stop even before the bus came...o.o human can run faster than a bus??? Amazing feat...pity no one saw it... maybe the ppl there... they all stared at me like i was crazy running some 3 stops with my bag...then when i reached my stop and wanted to get out of the bus i noe why the bus driver could nt see me liao...he was wearing mr tay spectacles... and apparently i might have a chance of being too black for him to see me at all... but i was like panting on my seat like a dog literally...woots training for 2.4 completed this year...
this week is going to be a tense week for me...debrief...art expedition...hist learning journey...so many things all supposed to be done...and i cannot afford to slack gt some maths olympiad competition and my aim is to win konnie...muahaha...
Now abt camp...1 word: competitive...my camp grp is like gt so many ppl all pro in something...except me... didn't find out who i will be sleeping with but my group is hui xian sueanne yueying mervyn and konnie...yay...i get to see him again... still gt ppl called yu jie and jasmon..name kinda rings a bell...i can't believe i am with you again...why is fate so against me?
Target for 2008(second half)
-win inter-class voleyball and don't give it to hm
-top 3 for cross country
-9 min 30 for 2.4
-score well in my subject(in other words average must be 70 and above)
-learn my correct study method
-buy teacher's day present
-excel in volleyball and not be taunted by seniors
-do well in robotics competition(pw)
-have the courage to say to u some words
Today was basically just two words: boring slack
maybe to form a word will be boslack...but that sounds like bo slack in hokk it means not slack hmm... bolack...?black?slaring?
Nid to learn to some camp briefing hist learning journey art lm phone scam briefing listen until my legs cramp...and brenda just had to keep pinching me coz she nt happy with my camp grp... anyway volley was fun besides my ball going inside the lake: i gave a good first ball from a smack it is like spinning like siao...went like o.O
Now for taggy replies:
Kevin:didn;t i update?
Hx: O.o emo mah...
Peanut: Agent, don't go around flirtin gwit hother ppl like 007:D just kidding...thanks for the moral support
Jx: Thanks biao di
Henry: thanks but i nt pro lar...
Kevin:thanks granduncle
Gloria:thanks loads
victoria:bad as usual
Thanks loads to the ppl who did show your concern... french love you guys and girls...

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

Sian exam over liao but somehow i don't have the mood to say much, everything was basically just scrwed up
eng-getting freaked out abt beefy things
chi-stupid chang wen suo duan
sci-never my best subject( I studied like siao) still gg-fied
geog-same as sci so look up
hist- the only subject i have the most confidence but still stupid penang
lit-no time at all last min then go say text is the book nt the passage
maths-9 marks gone, gg-fied my target of 85 just go flying away
so...wat do you think? I am feeling damn bad...
my confidence is just going down and down and down, i need some motivation and some encouragement but I am never given one
today i saw u at the exam hall leaving thru the door, letting you go first is like letting go of you... I have so much to say to you, but i dunno wat to say
i told someone who i really liked...first time i admitted to someone although he doesn't seem to believe
but hey, love is a strange and funny thing right?
Now the assignments still undone
-make an ava blog
-consult hard for the second half of the year
- play volleyball well
-express my love to you if i get 2a1
-hope that chen rui and they all dun suan me i am feeling so tough and yet emotional
I am thinking, why is it that we are born the way we are? Tsz Hin is so popular yet he claims he is not. He says hi to everyone he meets, tat is a thing which i admire and despise abt him coz if u say hi to everyone naturally u will hav a lot of frens but if u do sometimes some ppl will find u irritating i used to say hi but i think if i were to say now ppl would giv me that awful look, i see so many ppl i know bu tsomething is stopping me fro msaying hi to them coz firstly i do nt trust them or do i? Mind is so confused...
i really wan to say it but i dun thin i should because i am afraid u will get shocked, or will you? If i told u that i dun wan to start a relationship wit hu will u think it is wrong? I haev so much things and so little things to worry about...

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Monday, May 05, 2008

posting again found a nice website for me to study my lit the notes inside all very useful i think. Today was hist paper, but before that something funny happened haha it was a bit funny, A BIT only lar nothing much,zhi han's pencil case is officially gone... until our school decides to empty the lake...i am really sorry abt it zhi han and i did my best to comfort u liao(I am such a good boy, right?) I gave u a pen leh... just bought ytd like tat 1.55 gone liao...wtf... my hist notes also
gt eaten up by darling turtles cheng xiu one also...lols...
hist paper was ok except i mistakenly wrote bencoolen instead of penang stupid mistake until i see the fat teacher come up take my paper i realised what i did wrong but other than tat the rest all i write until rather long...
i must say, life is really funny and weird...when i saw you about to cross the road my heart stopped to take a beat if it wasn't for the fact that many other people noticed...i feel like i got so much and so little to say to you...i lack the courage or do i not? If it was only him, i would not mind talking to you but there were so many people...


Thursday, May 01, 2008

changed my blogskin liao as i was super sian as my dad kept scolding my bro for his maths=.= i dunno why but my bro has tution yet he still just pass...sian lar......duh...so while he wsa rattling here and there, left and right, i went to play and find a new blogskin so changed it...i think that i have screweeeedddd up 2and a half subs liao chi i think only my chang wen suo duan will kill me. Hopefully, if i can pass that section, it would be a miracle. For science, I studied ok, until 2 plus..yet it is still triply screwed...think i can only get high for physics...the others might fail...will susan low rattle agin? Hope not... for geog, i studied until 3 plus... yet it is still screwed...moral of the lesson: never study so late...if nt nothing will be absorbed...guess i also got kinda demoralised by chen rui...but i need to learn to take it in my stride...am i not fated in volley only life know what it has in store for me... why do i always seem like i am stuck in this miserable life of the seniors? guess it was because i never got to exp my last year as a seniorbut i am fine with the other seniors it is only y cca seniors...but why is it that they always greet tsz hin and can't be bothered about me? In my eyes am i trash to them? or do they really think that i suck? I wan to think positively like kenley said but it is easier said than done
in exam it was rather cold but somehow cheng xiu used that to trick me into seing something stupid...hope i can do well for the rest of the exam maybe get 80 percent for hist 75 percent for lit 85 percent for maths the ncan pull up my average liao life is just about hoping just like i am hoping seeing how u have avoided me is that intentional or accidental? I dunno how to express my love for u as i am afraid i will get rejected life is so simple yet i make it seem so complciated or is it really complicated?


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YL
I hope for life to be perfect but knows it is just another dream. I get emo easily i think of too much things, i like analogies and reading poems, hate solving riddles though coz i will get so many answers but never the correct one.I hope for a class tee soon, a class photo and to talk to everyone in this class.:D please do leave a tag though


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