sian posting again...hah being lame here...... i trying to do physics dun bother cheering me on coz it might have been over when u messaged me... shld i feel happy for him or nt? he has finally fulfilled one of life's greatest problems.....while we seem o be always togther...i sometimes dunno if i am on the same par with him...try as i might i nvr can...we just seemed so far and so close...no words can ever describe this utterly complicated realationship
Thursday, July 31, 2008
sian today was a bad day...napfa only gt 29 points.....GRRRR...... shall be a reallly short post
i really wan to tell you that if i choose any of you pls dun be upset......
yaya maybe might nt be a short post....volley i suck sia.........cannot spike properly dunno why....
maybe i shldn't hav liked you if not things won't be that complicated
ya now my studies is a mess sia.....did nt meet any of my expectations......:(
were u really laughing or do u really like me?
ok this looks a really short post coz i see very short one line paragraphs
i really hope to get it settled soon
think that shall be all ba
i
feeling short today haha
think
shall just train on my leg strength so tat pe can get tat extra 2 cm........
i
stupid tsz hin do 250
really
his shuttle run is also gay 9.5 wtf?
love
=.= i feel so wth now...nvm
you
i really wan to tell you that if i choose any of you pls dun be upset......
yaya maybe might nt be a short post....volley i suck sia.........cannot spike properly dunno why....
maybe i shldn't hav liked you if not things won't be that complicated
ya now my studies is a mess sia.....did nt meet any of my expectations......:(
were u really laughing or do u really like me?
ok this looks a really short post coz i see very short one line paragraphs
i really hope to get it settled soon
think that shall be all ba
i
feeling short today haha
think
shall just train on my leg strength so tat pe can get tat extra 2 cm........
i
stupid tsz hin do 250
really
his shuttle run is also gay 9.5 wtf?
love
=.= i feel so wth now...nvm
you
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Today was quite tough in fact this whole week has been...i feel so stressed up... anyway i love charisma today mr ahmad drew a picture of everyone made me so touched...
when i saw this pic he drew of me i was super touched haha first time sia someone draw me running i rarely even see tat la...think i will keep this pic with me forever...
i and e has been interesting honestly mr kennard is like 9129847182903657856104567 times better than mr hussein... his lessons are much funnier...
shitz gonna be a bankrupt now.... left so little money again.... ga.... dam...
i will never forget those times we share yes they may be short but i still dun care...in my heart u will always nvr be forgotten... u are the one who made the world so bright to me but i dun seem to fulfill my wishes.... gd luck to me........
Sunday, July 27, 2008
I wished so many things had not happened...they are really starting to fall back on me i cannot bear with this stress any longer... I have to stop myself..why just when i thought i had cleared my thoughts this had to happen?Why do I have to be hit with such a heavy obstacle? Why? I feel like crying already maybe it is all my fault i should not have been told to be with you.......ARGH............I deserve to be like tat.........maybe it was fate? But for now I have learnt, no matter what I do, I can never win your heart...:'(
Friday, July 25, 2008
haha posting in school now supposed to have english but well everybody is slacking..haha...shall just emo a bit here.... a bit la...vent my these 4 days the frustrations haix i dunno why la...so troubled... i have even started not to write too many things here...it is scary just to think of how some ppl can apparantly use that as a weapon against me...
haix now i am confused i have already decided on what i should do i think or what ishould really do maybe for the good of myself and getting this load off my chest...really glad u tagged... haha...i see so many people already telling Their girl but what about me? Am I destined to be lonely forever or what? I think I have made a decision for myself and I think I will achieve it if u are ever reading this, I hope u do tag (again?) coz I really appreciate it…To you I have given myself two weeks to know more about you…either that or it is case closed between us..I cannot ear with this longer…Can’t we even chat a little bit?(P.S this might not be a girl) I hope we can be what we used to be…those memories will never be forgotten even though u won’t visit this blog)
haix now i am confused i have already decided on what i should do i think or what ishould really do maybe for the good of myself and getting this load off my chest...really glad u tagged... haha...i see so many people already telling Their girl but what about me? Am I destined to be lonely forever or what? I think I have made a decision for myself and I think I will achieve it if u are ever reading this, I hope u do tag (again?) coz I really appreciate it…To you I have given myself two weeks to know more about you…either that or it is case closed between us..I cannot ear with this longer…Can’t we even chat a little bit?(P.S this might not be a girl) I hope we can be what we used to be…those memories will never be forgotten even though u won’t visit this blog)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
got past the whole of this week with tests tests and more tests...zz..dun even noe how i gt thru all tat...felt so scrwed up after each one...looking back at my mistakes i realise how foolish i was how stupid i was, made a whole bunch of mistakes in the chi test something which i told myself i cannot make...maths test wrote the formulaes wrong...sianzzz...still gt chem ws to do...should i do or nt? maybe i will just to waste time
injured my wrist... now much better liao
i hate my shooting form in basketball...it is rusty until u can ask the dsa ppl who come to cch for trials and the ywould have shot a ton better than i could...nt been playing for like 4 months? Maybe tat is why things are like tat...
eng project has nt been going well too sometimes i wish tat i can understand wat is the meaning of all these i wish i didn't have the outer ear so it wouldn't eliminate the feedback and produces sound waves then i wouldn't have to hear his voice..is tat reall ywat he thinks of me? i tried so hard for the grp but no one ever appreciated it...i am prepared to get damn low for my peer assessment...why? coz i failed at the most critical moment the most defining moment where i could have either shone up to the heavens or dropped down to the hell...is it my fault or wat?or is it u?
class tee is ready already the colour is black and girls and boys will be different at the back...really liked some of the designs there... BY THE WAY IT COSTS 18 DOLLARRS pls rmb to pay the money to sueanne
sometimes everything just seems so bleak i am in a very confused state now why are u purposely avoiding my gaze after the mon incident i feel that everything has changed between us...life will never be the same again though you will never read this blog maybe thsoe rumours have spread to yr head but i just wan u to know that i love u ...the second part u go find yrself somewhere in between all these posts
injured my wrist... now much better liao
i hate my shooting form in basketball...it is rusty until u can ask the dsa ppl who come to cch for trials and the ywould have shot a ton better than i could...nt been playing for like 4 months? Maybe tat is why things are like tat...
eng project has nt been going well too sometimes i wish tat i can understand wat is the meaning of all these i wish i didn't have the outer ear so it wouldn't eliminate the feedback and produces sound waves then i wouldn't have to hear his voice..is tat reall ywat he thinks of me? i tried so hard for the grp but no one ever appreciated it...i am prepared to get damn low for my peer assessment...why? coz i failed at the most critical moment the most defining moment where i could have either shone up to the heavens or dropped down to the hell...is it my fault or wat?or is it u?
class tee is ready already the colour is black and girls and boys will be different at the back...really liked some of the designs there... BY THE WAY IT COSTS 18 DOLLARRS pls rmb to pay the money to sueanne
sometimes everything just seems so bleak i am in a very confused state now why are u purposely avoiding my gaze after the mon incident i feel that everything has changed between us...life will never be the same again though you will never read this blog maybe thsoe rumours have spread to yr head but i just wan u to know that i love u ...the second part u go find yrself somewhere in between all these posts
Labels: confused, feel down, miserable day
Sunday, July 13, 2008
1 whole week has gone past dun even noe how i get thru it next week it will be evn worse like 4 tests in 1 week, eng geog maths chi, sian i dun even noe wat to do... priority problem....this week was basically inter-class, against it we lost could hav won lar but the ting hong was gd he kept saving tsz hin and kevin smack and serve keep on aiming xin ying and i hav to help her cover think must have injured my hand somehwere during the match quite serious blood was lke coming out as i stained my fingernails but we somehow lacked coodination...emo and disappointed with the team and myself lar, never treasure my service at all... hit the net>.<
but i still was emo over the fact that i did nt go to the training as a team but more of a sole player, is tat wat i am meant for or wat? i felt so hurt when everybody left me it brought me memories of ytd which i can't believe i even cried after the it match why did i even do that? i felt so guilty, it was all my fault if my service had gone past, if i had covered xin ying properly, we wouldn't be at that stage where we were trailing by a lot... so on thurs i strived to train myself up before the big match against hm one that would decide our fate...i felt we needed to work as a team but somehow it is easier said than done... but i still can't come to the fact that why am i doing this? I am nt a captain at all, why shld i see the need to bond the team? BUt why am i still hampered by questions...
Now,back to the hm match...glad to say all my service went over...sorry sze min gloria and clareine, keep aiming my service at u all>.<
but it was time for me to be slightly emo again when i wanted a full team handshake nt a captain to hm handshake....felt so... and when you did nt say good match to me when u said tat to kevin and tsz hin in front of me i felt hurt, it was my fault wasn't it? i am the person uare referring to right? In wat way have i disappointed you?
Later was about to go home when sueanne and amanda kept calling me asking me to buy chocolate...parted with 2 bucks to buy one after tat had nt much money liao...only like 70 cents thanks to tsz hin buying the chocolate from me? counted all my 5-cent coins...pro eh?? anyway i still cannot forget the block XD...first time i managed to do that usually most ppl in the match would just push the ball over.....thanks to the sec 2 girls for cheering our class though...really boosted our morale...hahas...felt really happy with the team and with what the seniors had to say to me...they seemed to be happy but i dun like their pushing the blame spirit... they should not have blamed it on him it wasn't his fault either it is nobody's fault or everyone's fault...one for all, all for one right?
Studying geog now...gah never bring geog tb home gotta rely on notes and edulearn...think shouold at least do some target settings for myself
Maths 19/20 yaya i noe i am aiming high but i believe i can do it:)
Geog 12/15 quite high marks for me but i can achieve it if i have determination
Chi 75/100 ya quite low coz i focused the least on that sub so....
Eng 65 percent? coz i dunno the marks scheme and graded marks
Dam super confused now…I told someone whom I really liked first time I ever said ya? The feeling was kinda…mixed…but now I feel bad….only someone will understand and to tat mysterious person thanks for keeping all my secrets these past few months…when I was down, emo, u still stood up for meJ
Sometimes I just wish you and me would even talk? D we even have that chance? Instead of brushing past each other, can’t we just say a hi or something? Thinking back, it was wrong for me to not want to look to you in the eyes but do u noe how I felt? Most propably, u are never going to tag my blog but tat feeling, so indescribable….but gotta study first, as tsz hin is learning from me get the results THEN get the girl:D good luck to mdians we shall thrash cr…Haha
but i still was emo over the fact that i did nt go to the training as a team but more of a sole player, is tat wat i am meant for or wat? i felt so hurt when everybody left me it brought me memories of ytd which i can't believe i even cried after the it match why did i even do that? i felt so guilty, it was all my fault if my service had gone past, if i had covered xin ying properly, we wouldn't be at that stage where we were trailing by a lot... so on thurs i strived to train myself up before the big match against hm one that would decide our fate...i felt we needed to work as a team but somehow it is easier said than done... but i still can't come to the fact that why am i doing this? I am nt a captain at all, why shld i see the need to bond the team? BUt why am i still hampered by questions...
Now,back to the hm match...glad to say all my service went over...sorry sze min gloria and clareine, keep aiming my service at u all>.<
but it was time for me to be slightly emo again when i wanted a full team handshake nt a captain to hm handshake....felt so... and when you did nt say good match to me when u said tat to kevin and tsz hin in front of me i felt hurt, it was my fault wasn't it? i am the person uare referring to right? In wat way have i disappointed you?
Later was about to go home when sueanne and amanda kept calling me asking me to buy chocolate...parted with 2 bucks to buy one after tat had nt much money liao...only like 70 cents thanks to tsz hin buying the chocolate from me? counted all my 5-cent coins...pro eh?? anyway i still cannot forget the block XD...first time i managed to do that usually most ppl in the match would just push the ball over.....thanks to the sec 2 girls for cheering our class though...really boosted our morale...hahas...felt really happy with the team and with what the seniors had to say to me...they seemed to be happy but i dun like their pushing the blame spirit... they should not have blamed it on him it wasn't his fault either it is nobody's fault or everyone's fault...one for all, all for one right?
Studying geog now...gah never bring geog tb home gotta rely on notes and edulearn...think shouold at least do some target settings for myself
Maths 19/20 yaya i noe i am aiming high but i believe i can do it:)
Geog 12/15 quite high marks for me but i can achieve it if i have determination
Chi 75/100 ya quite low coz i focused the least on that sub so....
Eng 65 percent? coz i dunno the marks scheme and graded marks
Dam super confused now…I told someone whom I really liked first time I ever said ya? The feeling was kinda…mixed…but now I feel bad….only someone will understand and to tat mysterious person thanks for keeping all my secrets these past few months…when I was down, emo, u still stood up for meJ
Sometimes I just wish you and me would even talk? D we even have that chance? Instead of brushing past each other, can’t we just say a hi or something? Thinking back, it was wrong for me to not want to look to you in the eyes but do u noe how I felt? Most propably, u are never going to tag my blog but tat feeling, so indescribable….but gotta study first, as tsz hin is learning from me get the results THEN get the girl:D good luck to mdians we shall thrash cr…Haha
Friday, July 04, 2008
sorry ppl i didn't wan you all to noe some things so i just put everything in korean
interclass volleyball coming soon liao...eager and looking forward to it hope we can win and do our class proud...we wan to own...but is tat even possible? So many things are possible any conclusion can be made... the most impt thing is we achieve it:)...other md ppl who are nt playing must also come down to giv support also hor:) show our class spirit unlike shao hong who claims that our class has no team spirit... as long as we win our first 2 matches can liao the last match we can just walk thru it coz cr gt no volleyball ppl... jyjy ppl:D i trying hard to improve also..hope to succeed...right now got so many things unclear hope the cloud can settle soon...
studies have been quite reasonable... parents came to school ytd so that they can talk about my failing subjects (art? and geog ya)... learnt a lot of things about how my parents were thinking... dang...almost dio saboed by susan low she saw them but didn't walk up to them even though she intends to... escaped first time unscathed...will there even be a second time? hope not... i must prove her wrong:D
volleyball have been good and bad... at least i don't get daoed by them:) but unfortunately, the name on my jersey still creates laughter amongst everyone... not been slacking run 5 rounds on thurs and 6 rounds on fri... and still felt reasonably ok... but now come back home very tired...i wan to be good and be noticed by everyone but is that even possible?
busybodies do not bother reading...pls... i do not want ppl to disturb me... i sincerely feel that only true friends should read...
haix my love life is in a twirl now... do i still love her as much as before? Is this considered flirting? i rmb how i always suan my grandfather on being very flirty but am i like him? i noe tat mysterious person will never ever read my blog and i noe she will nvr see this post, probably she does not even noe i exist... i have seen her twice after term started... and she gives the same feelings as compared to her... Do i love you or you? Am i able to remain loyal? Or is it probably coz a best friend could even be considered your love? rmb wat mr ahmad said that a oy and girl can hardly be best friends as they might fall for each other unexpectedly... could the same thing befall me?
I can't manage my own life even probably i should not even manage other ppl life...my heart is aching now and i got no one to help me mend it... my bro will maybe need some times to understand a breakup my parents will, i guess never understand me but i need someone to hold on to...someone whom i can share weal and woe with...guess tat has gotta wait... maybe when i have grown older and matured much more like goddad...
Maybe tsz hin was right after all...i am an emo bastard... i can never get over things easily and i can't let go of something...sigh...Guys will never understand me girls might but how do u expect me to confess everything to a girl...
interclass volleyball coming soon liao...eager and looking forward to it hope we can win and do our class proud...we wan to own...but is tat even possible? So many things are possible any conclusion can be made... the most impt thing is we achieve it:)...other md ppl who are nt playing must also come down to giv support also hor:) show our class spirit unlike shao hong who claims that our class has no team spirit... as long as we win our first 2 matches can liao the last match we can just walk thru it coz cr gt no volleyball ppl... jyjy ppl:D i trying hard to improve also..hope to succeed...right now got so many things unclear hope the cloud can settle soon...
studies have been quite reasonable... parents came to school ytd so that they can talk about my failing subjects (art? and geog ya)... learnt a lot of things about how my parents were thinking... dang...almost dio saboed by susan low she saw them but didn't walk up to them even though she intends to... escaped first time unscathed...will there even be a second time? hope not... i must prove her wrong:D
volleyball have been good and bad... at least i don't get daoed by them:) but unfortunately, the name on my jersey still creates laughter amongst everyone... not been slacking run 5 rounds on thurs and 6 rounds on fri... and still felt reasonably ok... but now come back home very tired...i wan to be good and be noticed by everyone but is that even possible?
busybodies do not bother reading...pls... i do not want ppl to disturb me... i sincerely feel that only true friends should read...
haix my love life is in a twirl now... do i still love her as much as before? Is this considered flirting? i rmb how i always suan my grandfather on being very flirty but am i like him? i noe tat mysterious person will never ever read my blog and i noe she will nvr see this post, probably she does not even noe i exist... i have seen her twice after term started... and she gives the same feelings as compared to her... Do i love you or you? Am i able to remain loyal? Or is it probably coz a best friend could even be considered your love? rmb wat mr ahmad said that a oy and girl can hardly be best friends as they might fall for each other unexpectedly... could the same thing befall me?
I can't manage my own life even probably i should not even manage other ppl life...my heart is aching now and i got no one to help me mend it... my bro will maybe need some times to understand a breakup my parents will, i guess never understand me but i need someone to hold on to...someone whom i can share weal and woe with...guess tat has gotta wait... maybe when i have grown older and matured much more like goddad...
Maybe tsz hin was right after all...i am an emo bastard... i can never get over things easily and i can't let go of something...sigh...Guys will never understand me girls might but how do u expect me to confess everything to a girl...
